Thursday, January 29, 2009

The Story: Tembok Gergasi, Roda Kecil dan Bintang Jatuh

ini cerita wani ardy - Aug 2008. saya rasa indah. hanya berkongsi di sini.

"I've built a wall not to block anyone out, but to see who loves me enough to climb over it." -Azreen Sulaiman

"Sometimes we put up walls, not to keep others out. But to see who cares enough to knock them down." -Szetoo Weiwen

A close friend said something similar to me before. He claimed that I always have these big walls surrounding me, regardless I'm attached or not. When I am, I refuse to see the possibility of being with other people. When I'm not, I refuse to give in to the possibility of getting hurt.

Tembok-tembok gergasi ini seperti sepasang roda kecil yang menyokong tayar belakang sebuah basikal. Si cilik takut terjatuh, takut lututnya luka lagi, maka dipasang roda-roda kecil tersebut. Dengan adanya roda kecil yang menyokong, si cilik rasa selamat. Dia bebas untuk berkayuh dan tidak akan jatuh.

Pun begitu, ada sekelumit waktu ajaib di mana terbit segelintir individu yang (entah bagaimana) mampu merobohkan tembok gergasi ini dengan senyap. Perlahan-lahan dua roda kecil tadi dicabut, tanpa disedari oleh si cilik yang sedang leka mengayuh, malah kayuhannya semakin laju.

Individu-individu ini saya sebut sebagai bintang jatuh.

Shooting stars. They are the most beautiful and the brightest. They don't appear all the time. They come once in a while. Just like the very few people who managed to knock down my walls and walk into my little box. Being an annoying perfectionist and skeptist, I don't let just anyone in. If you're not strong and patient enough, you'll never be able to knock down these great walls around me.

The fact that we were not meant to be, does not make these people less beautiful. I did not and do not fall for jerks. There must be something inside them, something that others can't see but I can, and I know that it made them the people they are today. They don't have it because they were once with me, but because it's in them. Hence, even though we didn't have a fairytale ending, so long as they remain them, they are still pretty much beautiful to me.

My actions may not reflect my words (I'm a woman, what's new?) but deep down inside, this is how I truly feel.

Shooting stars. They passed you by and they left you in awe. You're disappointed because you only get to catch a glimpse of them. You're crushed at the thought of they didn't stay, and not because they're ugly. They touched you despite you being guarded by giant walls, how can they possibly be ugly?

Hari ini tembok-tembok gergasi jadi lebih tinggi. Tiap kali bintang jatuh lalu dan hilang, tempias serpihannya mengenai si cilik. Cepat-cepat tembok gergasi melengkung dan melindung. Si cilik pula terlalu kerdil untuk menggapai bintang jatuh. Cahaya bintang jatuh terlalu terang, tidak terlihat dek matanya yang sudah bergenang kesilauan.

Si cilik terus mengayuh dan mengayuh dengan sepasang roda kecil menjaganya rapi. Barangkali sebutir bintang sedang merenungnya dari atas sana? Entah. Pasti bintang itu biasa saja, satu antara jutaan yang tersedia berselerak. Namun yang penting, bintang itu tidak berganjak.

Dengan mata terpejam, si cilik mendongak. Dibisiknya "terima kasih" pada bintang-bintang jatuh yang suatu masa dulu pernah meruntuhkan tembok gergasi. Dia seronok dapat berkayuh lapang biarpun hanya sebentar. Kini tembok gergasi tumbuh semula dan kian meninggi. Kayuhan si cilik terbatas, tapi sekurang-kurangnya dia sempat menjamah peluang menyaksikan bintang jatuh menconteng langit. Si cilik mengeluh senyum. Dia rasa bertuah dan bersyukur.

Mungkin pengalaman indah ini sekali seumur hidup.

nasrah - mana agaknya bintang jatuh saya? :) mungkin bintang paling terang, si matahari, ada di sana. cuma hanya menunggu waktu dan ketika yang paling tepat untuk muncul di sini.

3 comments:

s.u.e.r.i.e said...

kehadapan bintang jatuh.. saya kangen bangat sama kamu!

sekian.. :)

s.u.e.r.i.e said...

ni post lama wani kan.. i luv this entry as well btw.

~nasrah~ said...

yup. ni entry bulan 8 thn lepas. aku pon sgt suka this entry.
sapa bintang jatuh kamu surie? *wink*